What have shaped your emotions and feelings today?

What have shaped your emotions and feelings today?

What are three learned behaviors that have shaped the way you process and channel your emotions and feelings today?

What're the things you had to unlearn and learn a new POV on? 

What're things you would like to learn today?


LR shares:

  • Three learned behaviors that have shaped me have been doing everything on my own without asking for help, being overly independent—letting stress pile up without getting help until it becomes too much, and I explode.
  • These are two I’ve had to unlearn.
  • I am learning a new skill, mindfulness, where I stop and process my emotions first rather than acting on impulse. This skill is helpful, and I wish I’d learned it sooner.       


OB says:

  • The worst habit that I have is that I am overly independent. I developed this habit when I was homeschooled. I was forced to make my own decisions about when to start assignments, went to have lunch, and went to exercise. I even had to teach myself a subject a few times.

  • I eventually learned to be more open to dependency and asking for help when I moved to the US to start college.

  • I am currently teaching myself to be more adventurous in my decision-making rather than being rigid and focused on a plan. 


TW reveals that:

  • 1. Being more in tune with my emotions and other’s emotions, which led me to spirituality. I was never lovely before to others and sometimes not even to myself. I had to unlearn because I realized I could not bring unkindness to the real world. Consequently, spirituality has made me much more friendly, peaceful, and more aware of all emotions around me, practically an empath. 

  • 2. Extremely independent to the point of it harming me more than helping me due to growing up around many freeloaders and telling myself that I never desire to be like them. Despite being an excellent trait to have, I sometimes have trouble asking for specific things without thinking about possibly feeling like the people I have no desire to be. However, it’s something I have to uninstall in myself to a certain extent because there is nothing wrong with asking for help as long as you’re still carrying yourself.

  • 3. Acting on impulse from a young age to now, which is still very young, shaped me for good and evil. I desire to unlearn overall because many situations require a thought process, and impulse is of no use. 


BJ mentions:

  • Three learned behaviors that have shaped the way I process and channel my emotions and feelings today include: Yelling, Belting, Breathing, and Crying.

  • I would love to learn new techniques that are foreign to me as I cannot think of any at the moment. 


GTB's truth:

  • The three learned behaviors that have shaped the way I process and channel my emotions and feelings today are:

  • 1. Living in the shadows- I do not share any of my accomplishments with the majority of my family. I only have 3 people I share any good news with. I most feel they do not care, so I do not waste my time announcing anything.

  • 2. Being the rock or glue of my family- Everyone, and I mean everyone, always comes to me with problems, advice, help, etc. When the family is in turmoil, I am always the one who has to remain calm, take charge and figure out a solution, while everyone else gets to yell, scream, complain, cry, hide, etc.

  • 3. Properly expressing my emotions- This is a behavior that I had to learn. The only emotions I was comfortable expressing were anger and rage. I was more comfortable fighting than admitting that I was hurt, disappointed, rejected, etc. I grew up in survival mode because of the situations that I was placed in. I had to look out for myself, as well as my family. I became so emotionally detached, that people would say it was like interacting with two different people. I had and am still learning how to express what I am feeling and allowing myself to be vulnerable. I am a work in progress, but I am committed daily to the work.


KN's insight:

  • I had to unlearn being very dependent on another person to help me deal with my emotions through venting on my part and empathy on the part of the other person. I learned that people are not always emotionally available, that people can become overwhelmed with your problems, and that you can lose people who are close to you. It is important to be able to stand on your own. However, it can be difficult to strike a balance between independence (being able to handle difficult emotions and get through difficult times on my own) and healthy dependence (allowing myself to reach out for support).

  • I learned that journaling can be a good way to unload thoughts and emotions that are bothering me when I cannot or do not want to rely on someone else to help me cope at the moment.

  • Lastly, though I was always an artistic person, I learned that writing songs and creating art can be effective ways to sublimate negative emotions and impulses. The creative process distracts me from the difficult emotions I am experiencing, while the end product gives me a cathartic way to express those emotions. 


DH shared that:

  •  The three behaviors that have shaped the way I process and channel my emotion and feelings today for one are yelling at people. I have accumulated for so long that I’m mad to yell. I no longer do that because I try to control that. I didn’t know that I had anger issues until I would get into an argument with my family and my attitude would completely change. I would say the most awful things in the moment because I’m angry but knowing that’s not me it’s just I’m in the moment.

  • An emotion that has shaped the way I process, and channel emotion is regret. I know that most of the time when I do things, I will later have the worst guilt that sometimes is unbearable I have to think about what’s going to affect me later.

  • But the thing that keeps me most in check is knowing my mother does have a mental illness and it could be passed down but what also worries me is knowing I have defects I don’t talk about knowing it comes from what my birth did while pregnant with me. This all plays a part in how I am and many more things but all shape how I process and channel my emotion. Some emotions I would like to see when learning how to process my emotions and feeling effectively are kindness, love, and respect. 


KD brought solid points to the table:

  • I process/channel my emotions in three different ways.

  • First, I am someone who has trouble with confronting a problem no matter how big or small it may be. I am someone who would verbalize how I am feeling to my closest friends so that I don’t have to bottle up my feelings or else I will blow off some steam on someone who doesn’t deserve it.

  • Second, I allow myself to cry. I may not get choked up right away, but I allow myself to cry for as long as possible. I have always been an emotional person so when I would be talked down to or yelled at, I start to get emotional right away.

  • Three, I would listen to music while I am feeling sad. When I am feeling sad or frustrated, I would put a playlist on and just let the tears flow until I start to feel better. What I have had to unlearn is not to bottle up my feelings when I am feeling overwhelmed. Another thing I have had to unlearn is emotional dumping, which has led me to learn how to not use my friends as soundboards and how to properly address what’s bothering me in a way where I am not overwhelming them. 


CP's introspective perspective:

  • Three learned behaviors I definitely had to unlearn was trying to rush things, holding on to the negativity, and constantly comparing myself to others. Growing up I always suffered with body image and would constantly put myself in diets that would starve my body. I was insecure about my acne, and I would constantly buy products that were initially damaging my skin even more. That’s when I learned that not everyone is the same.

  • Soon enough I learned to have patience with myself and other things, I learned to let go of things that constantly made me feel like it was my fault, and I think that’s what helped me understand that comparing yourself to others is so unnecessary, especially since we’re not all encoded the same way.

  • I started to accept myself for who I was and affirming myself of all the great qualities I never paid attention to because I was always too busy looking at all the negative stuff. 

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