I am afraid of you.
I know you’re not supposed to use a word to define that word, but I don’t know how else best to describe you.
You cause me worry and dreed, you often cause me to stand still and to not move forward.
To not complete what needs completing.
This causes harm to me, which only creates more fear and worry.
You are one of the emotions I don’t know how to handle.
I press on and try to ignore you.
Yet when I really sit with you, I find that what I am most afraid of is success.
I am afraid of things going right and going my way.
I am afraid that I will actually make it.
That I will succeed.
That isn’t something I have prepared for, so it is unknown.
The unknown can be scary, though today I would like to change that fear to excitement.
Fear doesn’t have to be bad; it can be used to move us forward.
Fear can be a good thing and today I am choosing to use it as such.
So, fear, while I may not know how to handle you, today I will start to try.
Today I will use you as an excitement that moves me forward.
Today and moving forward I will not let you control me.
I know you will always be there, and I will acknowledge you, yet I will still move forward.
I am strong and brave, I am competent, and I can do anything I put my will towards.
Today you have no control over me.
Today I chose to keep moving forward in spite of you.
I hope that one day you will disappear, but for now I will take it one step at a time.
I will work on realizing you are there and still press on and for now that is enough.
Fear, today I am taking back control.
Today I am not letting you control me. Today I press on.
-WAF member Lauren, 2020