My struggle of being suicidal while living in society

My struggle of being suicidal while living in society

For me, personally, having poor mental health while having to deal with society and keep up with the moving world around me has always been a challenge. 

I think the hardest part for me was the feeling of loneliness, feeling alone because the people in my society didn't understand what I was going through and how much pain I was in, and a lot of times that felt isolating. 

It's also kind of intertwined with the suicide stigmas as well because when you live in a society that believes in those harmful stigmas it makes it harder for you to want to express your feelings and talk to people about it because they have the stereotypical mindset about suicide and the stigmas that they create. 

Stigmas like telling me "it's all in my head" " I'm not really suicidal I'm just faking it and doing it for attention" or asking me why I can't just be happy, why I can't just change my mindset, why I can't just get better, why I can't just get out of bed every day, why I can't just eat every day,  why I can't do the things I need to get done every day, why I lay in bed all day, why I hide and self-isolate myself from people every day. 

And majority of those questions will be asked in a criticizing way, but no one really genuinely asks out of concern, out of intention to help and make me feel better most of the time those things are asked to do the opposite. 

That's been my experience with struggling with suicidal thoughts and living in a society with expectations and stigmas especially surrounding that topic. Although going through this has been really hard some of my coping mechanisms involve things that make me happier and get my mind off things. 

Coping mechanisms like:

  1. listening to music and making music; helps me do better, helps get my mind off things, helps me know that there are other people out there that relate to whatever I may be going through, the music helps me feel not alone, helps to lift my spirits etc. 

  2. going out enjoying nature getting some time away from people and just vibing with myself and the earth around me. 

  3. talking to people who I feel safe with, who make me feel better rather than making me feel worse, people who are there for me, my friends' families, and loved ones. 

  4. working out/going to the gym really helps me as well, blowing off some steam, working on my body goals, staying healthy and in shape, lifting weights, etc to occupy my mind and body from whatever I'm feeling.          

  5. skateboarding/bike/scooter riding also helps me, it relieves me, and I can just sit back and ride as I enjoy the wind breeze glazing against me, in a way it can be very relaxing and distracting for my mind when I'm upset as well.  

  6. doing something that's fun for me watching tv, playing games, drawing, writing, poetry, etc these are also extra things that help get my mind off things as well because it allows me to escape into another world, any reality that I feel is better than this one, sometimes it's nice to get away from something stressful by engaging in happier scenery for me.

  7. and I know I'm not the only one alone in this who also may be feeling this way and so I just hope that everyone else can find their outlet too and that eventually, things will get better and that the people around us start to at least try to understand the things we struggle with and the concept of suicide and mental health so that they'll be able to help us rather than work against us. 


-WAF member Alex, 2022

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